My Own Metastory: Paper Ultima
by Ultima the Lazy
Summary: Bored out of his mind, Ultima spoke 5 words to a sentient book's avatar. And that changed everything. "I want to use the book." Just an OC insert, slight ties to Magic: the Gathering, StarLion's Metastory series, and all things associated with that.


"I wanna use the book."

Those were the 5 words that started my fun, my grief, my bliss, everything that happened in those days.

This sounds terribly cliché, doesn't it? My apologies, I'm just trying to make this as interesting to you as it was to me. Hey, my name is Ultima. I'm a century old, despite being born 16 years, 4 months, and something days ago in the timeline. Yeah, time travel. It's possible. How? Magic.

You heard me right, man and/or woman. Magic is a thing. Our plane just doesn't use it at all. So how do I know of it? Good lord, this is a long explanation already. Ever heard of the Spark? Clearly not, it's kind of rare. Everyone has a 1 in a billion chance to be born with it, and out of those, it's a 1 in a billion chance of awakening it. That's already…a 1/1000000000000 chance of ever becoming what I became. A Planeswalker. One with exceptional magical prowess and the ability to walk between Planes of existence, to explore new worlds and learn new things and all that stuff. So that's who I am.

Now, with the Multiverse mine to explore, and my mind actually able to control the æther, which is the stuff between Planes, to the extent where I'm really just a spirit with skin and a nervous system and still working fine, and most likely infinite time to kill…life gets boring.

And that's when I met Lee and his squad.

Lee was an ordinary guy from our Plane, Earth, the Plane on which all of you readers likely are, until he picked up a certain book. This book was actually an ageless…I dunno if he's a deity or not, I mean, another one got killed by Lee, so…demi-deity? Whatever, the book was a thing that we call Neku now.

And yes, that is because the avatar chosen by the book spirit (y'know, Neku, it can be really hard to describe you) is in the form of Neku from the acclaimed game "The World Ends With You". Damn, Lee rubbed off on me with his constant getting derailed from the train tracks that are what he's trying to say.

And Neku has the ability to…well…pretty much eff with reality in whichever way he wants and/or is okay with. The latter usually happens when someone writes a request in his book.

Lee went and wrote "I found myself in Sora's body." And pretty much became the star of a self insert alternate Kingdom Hearts. The whole series. Or at least until Kingdom Hearts 3 comes out, I think Lee's gonna just screw up the Xehasnort crew once and for all before that.

After their whole debacle, I found Sora, Xion, and Riku in the realm of Dreams during their "Mark of Mastery" stuff, and after that, I went back in time to chill with Lee as he watched them from a tower Neku made in the Keyblade Graveyard.

And that's how I met the crew. We do stuff to hang out and stuff, but that's not important. What is important is the five words at the top of this veritable wall of text.

"I wanna use the book."

Having 'cornered' Neku, (I just pestered him until he answered) I asked him this question. Now you might be wondering. Why do I need Neku's help? Surely my magic is strong enough for my needs?

No way. I'm not strong enough to create a Plane as if it's always been there. Neku is. What's that? Why do I need a world? Simple, I want to have my own Metastory.

Hey, I get bored, go ahead and sue me. This chapter is literally just explaining my rules and limitations anyway.

…on second thought, I was a little vague to Neku. No wonder he scoffed. "Unless it's an emergency, you don't just 'use the book'. Even Lee doesn't touch my book without at least warning me why he's using it. You ask me. I had too many eons of people abusing my capabilities to just let anyone keep it, and I'm well aware that eventually I'm going to have to either go back to that, or extend Liam's life, and I don't think he'd appreciate that."

"…oh." I really didn't expect that whole tangent from him, really. "…but I was hoping to have an adventure somewhat like his own. But in Paper Mario instead."

Yeah, I want to be flat. I want to be jumpy. I want to be Mario. Paper Mario, to be exact. That's my plan.

Oh. I shifted into speaking as if this is right now. Sorry about that.

Cue more tangent. Just some stuff about where he's making the world ("Last thing we need is Mickey and Bowser arguing over who's the king.") and arrangements for my departure. This is all standard stuff, so I tuned it out, but he did need to know what games I'm living through.

Well, obviously the original Paper Mario. But…how many of you readers know the reason PM: TTYD has to be in the same canon as the original PM? Everyone that does, you know why I'll also be doing TTYD. Here's a hint: They're spooky and scary, but they aren't skeletons. They'll still send shivers down your spine, especially one rather sick-looking one. Seriously, that shade of green is unhealthy.

Allusions and foreshadowing aside, there was one complication left.

One with a 1 in a trillion chance of happening to anyone, and even less of a chance of it being a bad guy. But it might be a complication.

Even so, I'll have Jumpman himself write me my mana and spells if I need them.

Yeah. That's right. This will be a body exchange. Expect to see a few Mario "Jumpman" Mario chapters here.

"Right." I stretched my arms, before cracking my knuckles a la a certain tragic hero with a monstrous appetite and too many fangirls. "Time to be Mario."

The last thing I heard before I passed out was "Check Mario's overalls, while I keep him from having a freak-out."

That's how it started.

It's sure as hell not how it ended.

Remind me next time I'm on Tarkir to piss on a few dragons before I slaughter them, I absolutely hate those things when they aren't mine.

 **Okay, so yeah. I needed to write something, I was reading someone else's Paper Mario self-insert, and I thought, hey, why the hell not. I don't own Paper Mario, nor do I own Magic: the Gathering, StarLion's own Metastory series, Kingdom Hearts, or any other things referenced by anything, unless I say I do. And while I want to own them, I don't. So yeah. Prologue 2 of Ylisse's Monado is actually somewhat written, believe it or not. Still working on it, but maybe it'll be out soon. I've been writing a lot lately, if these 1163 words are anything to say. SO…I'll see you again. Bye!**


End file.
